You're already qualified to lead. You have been all along.

I recently heard a woman described as “constantly writing the story of her life.” 

Shortly after that, I was given the gift of joining a group of world-changing consultants, and introduced, by Heidi Gruber of Fourth Quadrant Partners, to the value of reflecting on turning points within emergent learning. As a storyteller, both of these ideas appealed to me - especially in the context I choose to focus on in my work, empowering people to overcome the feeling of imposter syndrome and become the leaders they want to see changing the world. 

I wondered, what are the turning points that lead some of us to end up needing this kind of permission?

When you were a little kid on the playground and someone took your ball or cut in line, you probably didn’t stop and think about how it would look. You shouted so everyone could hear, “That’s not fair!” It didn’t matter that the adults didn’t get it, you were confident in your beliefs about right and wrong. 

But, life and time have a way of making things more complicated, and what you believe and say and do begin to drift. And that’s usually by the time you hit middle school. Things become trade-offs, you start hiding little bits of yourself so you don’t stand out too much. Everything around you is boys versus girls, and all of the rules and expectations that come with that dichotomy. Meanwhile, all of this is layered with solidly reinforced racial, socioeconomic, and cultural biases from parents, schools, peers, and the media. 

For many of us there was a turning point where society told us something we believed in, treasured, or desired was the wrong choice for us because of our bodies or our backgrounds. Just like learning the rules of grammar through rote, we internalize the lesson that we can’t trust our own hearts and minds. 

Enter America 2020, up is down and left is right, and very few aspects of our foundational systems feel good to people who are paying attention. But, like that turning point moment in middle school that defined us forever, good people who would make great leaders are having new defining moments. From bad bosses, to new children, to global pandemics, people who might not be viewed as traditional leaders are trying to find their voices again in order to change things for the better. 

These moments, possibly better termed “turning back points” are opportunities to reflect on why we don’t think we have what it takes to lead. When we question the barriers we believe are holding us back, we get a new perspective on the stories of our lives, so that as we write the next chapter, we can make different choices. Choices that feel as natural to us as the grammar rules we break all the time.

There are a lot of takes on imposter syndrome, here’s mine. We’ve been using the wrong list of qualifications for leadership - privilege, connections, white maleness; and defining it incorrectly - The Boss. In fact, the most critical expertise required in leadership is knowing yourself in the context of your experience in the world, so that you can recognize that depth of experience in others to build trust and loyalty. Everybody has the ability to do that, we are each exactly the only ones who can have our version of that expertise. On top of that, we all have spheres of influence, our families, workplaces, communities, where every moment of interaction is an opportunity to lead. 

The next turning point is becoming leaders by choice because you now understand that you’ve been qualified all along. And that example inspires other leaders, who inspire others, to lead differently. Imposter syndrome is only real if you believe the current leadership paradigm is working. Refusing to accept the parts of it that don’t serve the greater good sounds like a pretty good new definition of leadership to me at the moment. Thank goodness you now know what you need to begin, the world needs you.